Human beings develop elaborate defense mechanisms to block pain and gain significance. We supress emotions; we are compulsive perfectionists; we drive ourselves to succeed, or withdraw and become passive; we attack people who hurt us; we punish ourselves when we fail; we try to say clever things to be accepted; we help pepole so that we will be appreciated; and we say and do countless other things.

It is difficult — if not impossible — to turn on the light of objectivity by ourselves. We need guidance from the Holy Spirit, as well as the honesty, love, and encouragement of at least one other person who’s willing to help us. Even then, we may become depressed as we begin to discover the effects of our wounds. All of us bear the effects of our own sinful nature and the imperfections of others.

Whether your hurts are deep or relatively mild, it is wise to be honest about them in the context of affirming relationships so that healing can begin.

From The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee