Monday, January 30, 2006 

Show down at the Weight Watcher Corral!

Monday, January 30, 2006

Show down at the Weight Watcher Corral!

"Remember "she said, in a voice so chirpy that I wanted to snatch her bald headed, "A Set-Back is just a Set-up for a Break Through!"

(I instantly wanted to vomit on her shoes! ) Honestly, where do they get these people? Are they cloned? Do they give them performance enhancing drugs? Do they put sublimial messages in their Alphabet Cereal every morning? Do they have a published book of cliches they hand out with a spoonful of sugar?

I was ready for the Chirpster this week! With the support of the HELPFUL HULK I faced the monster scale with head held high and WON! I lost 6.4 pounds!! (or as they say in Weight Watcher terms....25 sticks of butter!)

Now, scale lady was all smiles and graciousness! Now she accepted me with open arms, and eye contact!! At this point I was surprised not to have received the key to the City and a ticker tape parade! "Oooh, she gushed, "You certainly had a good week!"

I smiled sweetly( surpressing the urge to jump across the table and strangle her!) Scale Lady must have alerted the Chirpster (and probably the local news media) as she was all smiles and stood right by me as the meeting begin. "Who has something they want to brag about?" she cooed encouragingly.

"Let the showdown begin!" I thought. So I played my part.....(ooh, 000h, choose me, choose me!) So I stood proudly and announced my wonderful weight loss to the sound of appropriate clapping and horn honking. "What did you do differently" she prompted!

"Absolutely nothing", I responded. " I did everything just exactly like I did the week before when I gained 2 pounds! Only last week there was no affirmation. "No stay the course." No smiles, no pats on the back, not even eye contact from the scale lady! ( side note: Oh yes I did, I named names!) I left the meeting last week feeling like a total failure, lower than dirt and vowed never to come back again. For a support group you ladies really suck!"

Surprise, surprise.....The room was silent!

One lady next to me said, "I lost .2 of a pound last week and felt so bad I didn't even stay for the meeting. One by one others began to "testify" of having the same experience but being too embarrassed to say anything about it."

Chirpy turned to Magnolia (her real name is a flower name) and asked her to speak about how it felt not to lose weight when you are doing everything right. Mags (who has lost 101 pounds...(for real) or as we like to say in WW terms-404 sticks of butter) spoke honestly about having weeks when the scale didn't want to cooperate with her body. There was no hype, no excessive sugar, just sweet sincerity that truly broke my heart. ( after the meeting I asked her if she would adopt me!)

I don't know what the meeting was supposed to be about, but it actually turned into what it was intended to be all along , a support group.

I took full responsibility for not bringing the topic up last week due to my hormonal roller coaster emotions. (Of course I felt free to rant about it with you all!)

Moral of the story: I feel like there are ladies at my "circus " Weight Watchers meetings that have the same feelings and emotions and struggles I do. Shame on me for not taking the initiative and reaching out to them.

PS. My best friend who goes to the meetings with me and knows my intense love/hate relationship with WW suggested we attend another meeting in some other nearby cities where possibly the instructor wasn't quite so perky and cute! (What? I said, "and miss my weekly blogging fodder? Are you crazy?")

Well maybe it didn't exactly happen that way......but it did to" my weigh of thinking."

Posted by Lazy Daisy at 8:36 AM 12 comments

Friday, January 20, 2006 

I've Created my own Super Hero!

Friday, January 20, 2006

I've Created my own Super Hero!

Well I'm over feeling sorry for myself .

I've decided that if Miss Chirpy can convert herself into a super hero so can I. She may be Portion Control Hero but she'll have to deal with my super ego.....HELPFUL HULK.

Yes, folks Helpful Hulk.....the defender of fragile self-esteems. Helpful Hulk becomes enraged at lack of support or encouragement to emotionally starved victims of the dreaded scale.

Stand back, don't get me mad. "You won't like me when I'm angry!", she says.

Helpful Hulk turns green because of all the green and leafy vegetables she has been eating. Her muscles bulge due to all the exercise and strength training. Her clothes are smaller because they are new and show off her dazzling figure that discipline and healthy eating have created.

She's the defender of the disappointed, priestess of the portly, helpful to the hefty, friend of the fatty, leader of the large, chum of the chubby, and hero of the huge.

"Hang in there a while longer, you will see a change." "You can do this!" "Look at the new habits you are developing." "Next week will be better." "Your body is going through a change and needs time to adjust." "Don't give up!"...........These are the words in her arsenal .

Hmm.....seems like I heard these same words from all of you! Thanks, I needed that! Posted by Lazy Daisy at 11:03 PM 16 comments

Saturday, January 14, 2006 

Red Flag Foods

Red Flag Foods

I've had weight issues all my life. I know how to diet. I've spent a lifetime on a diet. I've literally lost hundreds of pounds....only to find those pounds again as well as others that someone else must have dropped.

My theory: Weight is neither lost nor gained it is just simply redistributed. Some people have to gain weight so others may lose it. From my way of thinking lots of people should be thanking me for picking up their lost tonage.

Recently I read an article that really made sense to me. ( Leslie Sansone's Eat Smart, Walk Strong . It was called "The Dirty Dozen" and suggests avoiding 12 food categories . The article states that you have to be very creative to gain weight without these (which are all sources of either artery-clogging saturated fat or insulin-spiking refined carbohydrates.) Here's the list:

  1. Beef and Veal
  2. Pork
  3. Bacon, Ham, Sausage
  4. Lamb
  5. Full-Fat Cheese
  6. Butter and Margarine
  7. White Flour
  8. White Rice
  9. Potatoes
  10. Hydrogenated Vegetable Oil
  11. Sugar
  12. Sour Cream, Cream, and Whole-Fat Milk
It made sense to me so I've posted these on my refrigerator as a reminder.

A Red Flag Food is a reminder that Danger Lurks in these shelves. Red Flag Foods are foods that I particularly enjoy and have a hard time stopping with the suggested serving indicated.

Pizza is a Red Flag Food for me? Do you have a particular Red Flag Food? Posted by Lazy Daisy at 8:21 AM 20 comments

Thursday, January 12, 2006 

Chirpy Strikes Again!

Chirpy Strikes Again!

I'm back from my second weight watcher's meeting.

I thought that maybe last week Miss Chirpy was just excited to see so many people at the meeting and that this week she would calm down a bit. No such luck......the room is filled, people are chatting nervously, the lights flicker, there's a super-hero theme song being played in the background, a flash of of light, a puff of smoke and there she stands.....

Miss Chirpy, who is now dressed as a super-hero. Her outfit consists of purple tights, black shorts, red shirt with A.B.C.... written on her chest. In addition she has on a black cape, purple scarf around her neck and long matching purple gloves. Her shoes are pink fluffy slippers and she is sipping on a cup of coffee (as if she needs more caffeine in her system!)

Miss Chirpy: " Who am I people?" she shouts to the crowd.

Me: (hopefully not thinking out loud) "An escapee from the mental institution? Oh my gwad, maybe she's had a head injury and doesn't know either! I wonder if she's dangerous to herself or others?

The entire left side begins to venture guesses totally unaware or alarmed that Chirpy is wearing a costume. Finally exasperated she tells the group, "I'm a super hero......I'm Portion Control Hero. I fight "the super size me villains" that lurk in salad bars, and drive- through fast food places. These villains are insidious and pose as "Value Meals".

"If they can convince you that more is better.....they have you. Tell me, what value is there to eating empty calories and fat? Just say" super-size me" and for a mere 49 cents we will give you increased risk of heart disease and stroke. "

"I've come to equip you in your battle of the bulge! You can be victorious! You can win! Say good-bye to empty calories. Raise your hand with me and repeat......"Talk to the Hand!".
That's Right, Portion Control Hero is here to educate you on what are appropriate portions. If in doubt look to your hand....(grasshopper...)

  1. Fist= equals 1 cup or 1 medium whole fruit
  2. Thumb (tip to base)= 1 ounce of meat or cheese
  3. Thumb tip (tip to 1st joint)=1 tablespoon
  4. fingertip(tip to lst joint)=1 teaspoon
  5. Cupped hand = 1-2 ounces of nuts or pretzels
  6. Palm (minus fingers) = 3 ounces cooked meat
Again, I say.....look to your hand!"

Me: ( sitting next to a man with the biggest hands I have ever seen) This doesn't seem fair to me at all. His hands are as big as King Kong's. How come he gets more?

Then with another flash of light and puff of smoke......Portion Control Hero is Gone. We are all dazed, wondering if we have had a flash back from our youth or did a miracle just happen in our midst?

Who was that masked man I want to say? But instead I ask.....if that was Portion Control Hero what was the ABC on her chest all about?

Oh, that, says the man with the large cartoon hands....."All Bites Count!"

Well, maybe it didn't exactly happen that way.....but it did to my way of thinking!

Sunday, January 08, 2006 

My "Ah Ha Moment!

Lazy Daisy is back in the building and has finally had a break through. Yes, I said a "break through" not a "break down"!

One of my last post was after attending a weight watchers meeting in my small rural community and meeting "Miss Chirpy" the life coach, cheerleader and all-round perky-person lecturer. ( See Jan. 5th post)

My attempt at humor was to mask how bad I felt at being so far out of control in my eating habits and having allowed myself to become the resident fat person of the community.

Friday was horrible in that I didn't know what to eat and was almost afraid to eat at all.

Saturday and Sunday we had planned to go home to Virginia Beach to see my mom for her birthday . Going home is always an eating extravaganza...My wonderful mom believes in the Dough Boy philosophy of "Nothing says lovin like something from the oven. "

She believes in "Killing the fatted calf" and preparing all my favorite foods. In the past, I have eaten everything she puts in front of me so she will know that I appreciate all her efforts to please me and show me how much she loves me.

This weekend I told her that "I was the fatted calf and she was killing me" by insisting I eat things that were not on my eating plan. She listened! She had simple meals with numerous vegetables and salads. I left tonight with a sense of empowerment.

My biggest "Ah Ha Moment" came when I finally realized that as much as I love food, I love me more. I am learning to approach food (not with fear and trembling) but with reverence and celebration. Anything approached with reverence is less likely to be abused. So I am developing a more intentional relationship with food....loving it, savoring it,and not taking it for granted.

What was your "Ah Ha Moment?"

Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:14 PM 8 comments

Thursday, January 05, 2006 

Just a little too perky for me!

(Author's note: I was in a bad mood before I ever entered the door. I'll give this program a shot....I just needed to vent to someone!)

Alright....the dreaded evening has arrived and I went to my first WW meeting since starting on this journey to a healthy lifestyle.

It's the first of the year and every woman over the age of 6 is there to join. I live in a small rural community where the post office closes for an hour and a half every afternoon for lunch. There is no movie theater and only one grocery store. So I'm beginning to think that maybe this is the towns only source of entertainment.

I quickly scan the room feeling sure that I'm the fattest person there. I win! I was! The meeting begins with horn honking, and atta boys.

Miss Chirpy (names have been changed to protect the innocent) begin the celebration by asking who has some thing to brag about this week? (The room goes strangely silent and the entire front row starts looking at their shoes.) Miss Chirpy, bout you Miss Pencil Thin, any closer to zipping up those size O designer jeans?

Well, she says shyly, "I did lose a quarter pound!" " Whoopeee, " Miss Chirpy shouts......that's a whole stick of butter! (every one begins to clap enthusiastically). I look at my backside and see a whole side of beef hiding back there while she's gloating over a stick of butter! I'm beginning to feel ill as Miss Chirpy continues to bounce over the room sprinkling endless enthusiasm and cliches.

Next the lecture begins in earnest. There are 4 questions.

Miss Chirpy: Is there any area of your life that you would like to see improvement?

Me:(hmm....let me think, I'm at a WW meetings, what could I possibly need to improve my life.....I hope all these questions aren't going to be this hard.)

Miss Chirpy: What do you need to do to make these improvements?

Me: (....again, I'm at WW meetings what COULD I do to make these improvements? I need to write these questions down. I know I'll write them on this little book they gave me......hey, would you look....this may be the answer to my prayers!)

Miss Chirpy: CAN you make those changes and improvements?

Me: (thinking again, I'm not over weight, I'm just under tall....taking out slide rule thingy in my calculations I should be 7 feet 2 inches tall!)

Miss Chirpy: (leaping right in front of me pointing her finger accusingly) "Will YOU make those changes!" she screams!

Me: "Lord Jesus YES, ( anything just get me out of here!")

Wild enthusiastic cheers and applause break out spontatously as the town's fat person has been dramatically converted to the right way, the weight watcher way! Now the towns folk can sleep in their beds tonight without fear of being eaten.

Well.....maybe it didn't exactly happen that way....but it did to my way of thinking!

Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:44 PM 21 comments

Tuesday, January 03, 2006 

Lower than dirt

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Lower than dirt!

I've been on Weight Watchers for two weeks and you know what I've lost?

Answer: About 14 days.

I could say I lost my sense of humor and my will to live but that would definitely be "over kill".

Even Miss Chirpy couldn't get a rise from me today.

After a careful week of being obcessive complusive about drinking my water, counting my points, portion control, and weighing every time I went to the bathroom I was rewarded on the scale by gaining two pounds.

When you gain weigh at Weight Watchers they don't say anything to you. They don't even make eye contact with you. No one says, "Too many twinkies this week, huh?"

The weigh- in lady simpy records your weight and hands it to you. I think I almost would have preferred putting a Big Pink Pig Sticker on my least someone would have said, "Oh you poor baby, next week will be a better week for you!"

"I retain water, right before my period," I say to no one listening. Weigh-in lady looks up at me as if to say, "yeah, I've heard that one before." She smiles weakly hoping I will move on so she can weigh the person behind me.

Miss Chirpy clapped, honked her pink horn, gave out bookmarkers, and gave us words of great inspiration such as, "Don't clown around, write it down!" Also "nothing taste as good as thin feels!" I think I would have felt better if she had just said, "Sucks to be you, doesn't it?"

All I heard was, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, How could you have gained weight ? Blah,blah, blah blah.....Did you count your points? Blah, blah, blah.

I'm sure that was just old tape recordings of negative self speak going off in my head .

Maybe it didn't happen exactly that way......but it did to my way of thinking.

Posted by Lazy Daisy at 9:36 PM 19 comments

About me

  • I'm Lazy Daisy
  • From Elizabethton, TN, United States
  • I am a married, empty Nester, missionary, living in the hillside of Tennessee, with lots of homespun humor and hopefully some insights!
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