Thursday, January 12, 2006 

Chirpy Strikes Again!

Chirpy Strikes Again!

I'm back from my second weight watcher's meeting.

I thought that maybe last week Miss Chirpy was just excited to see so many people at the meeting and that this week she would calm down a bit. No such luck......the room is filled, people are chatting nervously, the lights flicker, there's a super-hero theme song being played in the background, a flash of of light, a puff of smoke and there she stands.....

Miss Chirpy, who is now dressed as a super-hero. Her outfit consists of purple tights, black shorts, red shirt with A.B.C.... written on her chest. In addition she has on a black cape, purple scarf around her neck and long matching purple gloves. Her shoes are pink fluffy slippers and she is sipping on a cup of coffee (as if she needs more caffeine in her system!)

Miss Chirpy: " Who am I people?" she shouts to the crowd.

Me: (hopefully not thinking out loud) "An escapee from the mental institution? Oh my gwad, maybe she's had a head injury and doesn't know either! I wonder if she's dangerous to herself or others?

The entire left side begins to venture guesses totally unaware or alarmed that Chirpy is wearing a costume. Finally exasperated she tells the group, "I'm a super hero......I'm Portion Control Hero. I fight "the super size me villains" that lurk in salad bars, and drive- through fast food places. These villains are insidious and pose as "Value Meals".

"If they can convince you that more is better.....they have you. Tell me, what value is there to eating empty calories and fat? Just say" super-size me" and for a mere 49 cents we will give you increased risk of heart disease and stroke. "

"I've come to equip you in your battle of the bulge! You can be victorious! You can win! Say good-bye to empty calories. Raise your hand with me and repeat......"Talk to the Hand!".
That's Right, Portion Control Hero is here to educate you on what are appropriate portions. If in doubt look to your hand....(grasshopper...)

  1. Fist= equals 1 cup or 1 medium whole fruit
  2. Thumb (tip to base)= 1 ounce of meat or cheese
  3. Thumb tip (tip to 1st joint)=1 tablespoon
  4. fingertip(tip to lst joint)=1 teaspoon
  5. Cupped hand = 1-2 ounces of nuts or pretzels
  6. Palm (minus fingers) = 3 ounces cooked meat
Again, I say.....look to your hand!"

Me: ( sitting next to a man with the biggest hands I have ever seen) This doesn't seem fair to me at all. His hands are as big as King Kong's. How come he gets more?

Then with another flash of light and puff of smoke......Portion Control Hero is Gone. We are all dazed, wondering if we have had a flash back from our youth or did a miracle just happen in our midst?

Who was that masked man I want to say? But instead I ask.....if that was Portion Control Hero what was the ABC on her chest all about?

Oh, that, says the man with the large cartoon hands....."All Bites Count!"

Well, maybe it didn't exactly happen that way.....but it did to my way of thinking!





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  • I'm Lazy Daisy
  • From Elizabethton, TN, United States
  • I am a married, empty Nester, missionary, living in the hillside of Tennessee, with lots of homespun humor and hopefully some insights!
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