If this statement is correct then I have some serious thinking to do.  I can probably come up with a long list of who I think I'm not.  So lets try.

1. I think I'm not beautiful, or even pretty.  If I try really hard I can sometimes be cute.
2. I think I'm not a good role model since I can't control my weight.
3. I think I'm not very smart. 
4. I think I'm not the woman my husband deserves.
5. I think I'm not worthy of love.
6. I think I'm a captive of  my past mistakes.
7. I think I'm not ever going to succeed.
8. I think I'll embarrass my son at his wedding by my appearance.
9. I think I'm not ever going to feel healthy or attractive.
10. I think I'm really superficial because I'm worried about all the things above.

    I guess I should be glad that hardly anyone reads this blog.  I don't know when I've ever been this honest with myself .  So there it is....the big ugly truth, I don't like me very much.  BIG SURPRISE??? 

The scale isn't moving and I'm embarrassed that my self esteem is measured by my dress size.  Guess I'll have to work on that.  I'm weighed down tonight but I'll get over it.