Have you ever had this experience ?

You've gone off program, totally blown it, repented and swore your undying allegiance to the flag, motherhood, weight watchers, exercising religiously, drinking your water till your kidneys float and just as you pop your exercise video into the player you notice that Leslie Sansone is looking at you condescendingly?

Is it just me.....Or is Leslie giving me the evil eye?

Is that a sneer among the perkiness? Does she know that the only thing I've been exericing is my chewing muscles? Does she suspect that I've been unfaithful or am I jumping to conclusions, chasing rabbits or running in circles? Is she aware that I've been walking to the refrigerator instead of walking away the pounds?

Is there a built in GPS sensor hidden in the DVD that alerts her to non-compliance? Is Big Brother really Richard Simmons? Does he know that instead of sweating to the oldies that I'm actually sitting on the couch eating potatoe chips saying, "Go Richard, Go Richard!"

Is there a Phat Patrol that scans the living rooms of potential Fat Fighter Flops ? Why was Leslie looking directly at me when she suggested that if the exercise was too intense that I could do a modified version and follow Beth ( not Leslie). Does she think that I'm not worthy of her perpetual perkiness? (Right, sure it was just the camera angle!)

I know, you probably think that this is a "Sugar Buzz Flashback" and by now you are thinking that detox may be in order. Who knew that temporary gratification was such a bummer in the long run? Should I be offended when anyone talks about anything bigger than a teacup?

Excuse me while I go munch on my lunch....ice cube anyone?