Editor's Note: My apologies to Jack and the Beanstalk, Alice In Wonderland, Winnie the Pooh, Hansel and Gretel, Cinderella and The Wizard of Oz , for stealing plot lines!

Finally the scale is moving.....I thought maybe the gravitional pull of the earth had increased or something really funky in the universe was wacky.....(it certainly couldn't be ME)

What a thrill to see progress!

Yes, I've been here before but seems like it is an elusive dream. Who knew the climb up the bean stalk would be so challenging or that the giant that lives here would be so daunting? In the cartoons he looks "kind of cute" for a huge fat man.

I live in Two-terville ......The land of giants where people are 200 plus pounds. We command a great deal of space and I am a full time resident. I've lived here most of my adult life. At one time I might have even considered running for mayor! Life is comfortable here.....All the chairs are oversized, there's a refrigerator and TV close by, a recliner and the remote control are all within reach, and if nothing is on TV there's always the internet. In Two-terville no one asks you if you'd like to supersize that?....They do it automatically. No one stares at you, gawks, or snickers behind your back. It's a safe environment. Life is slow moving like most of our residents.

We tell ourselves that "everybody loves a jolly fat person". So we tell jokes on ourselves, hoping people will laugh with us instead of at us. We mask our pain behind "a great sense of humor" but it's always there. I read somewhere that "humor is pain turned inward!" (but I digress....)

I really want to live in One-derland, the land of people that are 100 plus pounds. I hear it's a great place to live, that people there are much more active and actually "have a life" rather than watching others vicariously. I also heard that the clothes are cuter!

I keep looking for Alice or the White Rabbit to follow, but they seem to be running down other rabbit holes right now. I haven't found the shrinking elixir yet so there is no way that I'll ever fit through the hole. So like my roly poly friend Winnie the Pooh I feel stuck between two worlds ......One half in Rabbit's front door and the other half in the outside world.

The honey that got me here was sweet, the liberty to move around in the outside world is even sweeter. I have decided that "wishing" is not going to get me where I want to be. I've been following the bread-crumb trail far too long that leads to the Gingerbread House. I'm looking for a fairy Godmother who will wave her "magic wand" and turn me into a beautiful princess instead of the ugly pumpkin shell I inhabit now.

One-derland lies off in the distance. So like most travelers, I'll gather up the brochures, start saving my resources, pack my bags and apply for a passport. The map says this is the right road even though there aren't any yellow bricks to follow. I'm sure there will be some detours on the trail, some unexpected breakdowns, and miles and miles of the same scenery but I think I'm finally ready to start the journey.